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  • FUN URBAN DICTIONARY ...

    URBAN DICTIONARY

    I just love this fun Urban Dictionary Website - http://www.urbandictionary.com/

    For instance did you know that -

    bo$$ ass bitch

    A boss ass bitch is a woman who goes above and beyond simply being a bad bitch. While she is not the baddest she is above several bad bitches an you can't step to her. She keep her money right, game tight, and she'll beat a bitch ass all night. Most ratchets like to call themselves Boss Ass Bitches when it is apparent is is not true.

    She thinks she a bo$$ ass bitch. Someone needs to inform her that she is actually a basic ass regular bitch and best step correct 'fo she get lit up.

    by LukazDane March 11, 2014

    or

    ninja

    I gathered some facts about them:

    Ninja don't sweat.

    Bullets can't kill a ninja.

    Ninja invented skateboarding

    Only a ninja can kill a ninja. Regular humans are useless.

    Ninja never wear headbands with the word "ninja" printed on them.

    Ninja can breath underwater anytime they want.

    Ninja can change clothes in less than 1 second.

    Ninja don't smoke, but they do use smoke bombs.

    Ninja always land on their feet. If they don't have feet they will land on their nubs.

    Ninja invented the internet.

    Ninja don't eat or drink very much, and they never have to go to the bathroom.

    Ninja always move to America when making a new start as a non-assassin.

    Ninja don't play sports. Unless killing is a sport.

    Ninja can crush golfballs with 2 fingers, any two fingers.

    Ninja have a bad temper when they lose at anything. They will usually cut off the winners head before they have time to gloat.

    Ninja lie all the time. Even when the truth serves better, ninja will lie anyway.

    Ninja swords are always straight with a square handle guard. Always. Curves are for girls.

    Lack any personality

    Wear headbands

    Fight skillfully with any object

    Can remove a spleen in one swift motion

    Live in your house secretly for days

    Can remove their shadow if needed

    Hurl shurikens

    Go anywhere they want instantly

    Catch bullets in their teeth

    Kill themselves if they make a noise

    Can run 100 miles on their hands

    Train 20 hours/day starting from age 2

    Have cool words like Seppuku

    Are masters of disguise

    Can hover for hours

    Flip out and kill everything

    Are completely self-sufficient.

    Split planks vertically with their nose

    Can hide in incense smoke

    Kill people.

    Ninjas are the best guitar players. Ever.

    Ninjas do NOT wear spandex.

    A Samurai is NOT a ninja.

    Dragon Ball Z characters are NOT ninjas.

    If you see a ninja, he is NOT a ninja.

    Some guy: "Ninjas are totally sweet"
    Some other guy: "True true"

    by sam paulin August 12, 2005

  • SMILE...

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  • A BRAZILIAN WANDERING SPIDER FOUND IN A BANANA...

    Spider

    A family was forced to temporarily abandon their home after dozens of venomous spiders hatched from a banana.

    The Taylors, of Hampton in south-west London, spent several nights in a hotel while their house was fumigated.

    Mrs Consi Taylor was the first to spot the creatures, which dropped off the banana while she was eating it.

    She told the Sun: "I got halfway through the banana when I saw something white on the skin. I thought it was mould but when I had a closer look I saw some funny looking spots.
    "I had a closer look and was horrified to see they were spiders."

    They were later identified as Brazilian Wandering spiders, listed in the 2010 Guinness World Records as the world's most venomous spider.

    Few people die from the creature's bites, however, and antivenom treatment is readily available.
    The Taylors had purchased the banana from a branch of Sainsbury's.

    The supermarket has apologised for the incident, and has paid 1,000 to cover the family's hotel bill, fumigation and dry cleaning.

    Original article on uk msn.

  • TODAY'S QUOTE IS...

    Quote

  • PERFECT PEOPLE, A BOOK YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO PUT DOWN...

    perfect-people-view

    BOOK REVIEW - 'PERFECT PEOPLE' by PETER JAMES...

    I've been a reader of Peter James book's since getting completely hooked on 'Dead Simple' which was the first case for detective Roy Grace. But 'Perfect People' is a long way away from the detective series, instead its his first stand alone novel.

    It looks at something now talked about in ever increasing circles, 'creating designer babies'.

    After the death of their young son through a genetic disorder, John and his wife Naomi are desperate to have another child.

    Along comes Dr Leo Dettore who says he can not only fix fatal abnormalities, but can create human beings to order. Although things do look a bit strange with Dr. Leo Dettore operating from a ship in international waters to avoid regulation, the couple decide they will speak to the billionaire geneticist.

    Dr Dettore pushes John and Naomi into designing a baby more perfect than any normal child but once Naomi becomes pregnant, things start going down hill fast. Their doctor dies in a suspicious helicopter crash and although they only wanted one child they find out that Naomi is carrying twins.

    Facing problems with a fundamental group who threaten to kill their children as 'spawn of Satan', nothing prepares them for the problems they encounter when the twins are born. With abilities like no normal human beings they soon realise that 'creating a designer baby' was not a good idea.

    This is yet another brilliant page turner from Peter James and one which you will not be able to put down once you start reading it.

  • WHAT WOMEN CAN DO WHILE THE FOOTBALL IS ON...

    250px-Flag_of_England_svg

    WHAT TO DO WHILE THE FOOTBALL IS ON...

    I decided to take a look online for ideas of how to fill our time while the football is on and I was truly amazed at what I found, so I thought I'd share some of the ideas with you.

    Bake Fairy Cakes well that's something different :(

    Make a Mood Board already done that

    Sort out your wardrobe done it

    Have a Pyjama Party a pyjama party at my age.....

    Get crafty yep, love doing that

    Watch a Disney Movie with who, I'm not a Grandma yet

    Go shoe shopping never go shoe shopping without the other half, as he pays for the shoes

    Plant a window box got one

    Get your fortune told been there done that what a load of rubbish

    Phone a friend yep done that as well
    all from www.sofeminine.co.uk

    or

    Make your bathroom a pamper zone this did make me sort my cupboard out in the bathroom !!!!

    Detox your wardrobe as above, done it

    Feel good without the big spend really !!!

    Treat yourself and get Brazilian bronzed - hmmmm

    Meet up with that friend you never have time to see why? If she's a good friend I will always make time to see her.

    From http://sienna-x.co.uk/ who specialise in bronzing products !!!

    Hope you enjoyed them, they made me giggle anyway...

  • ARE YOU A STORY TELLER?..

    STORY CRAFT

    Are you a storyteller? Would you like expert advice from fifty authors called Storyguides and the chance to share your stories? Then this brilliant, interactive storytelling tool is just for you!

    Craft your own story in three simple steps through Storycraft and World Book Day

    An amazing selection of authors and illustrators are there to share their top tips with you.
    1.Choose a story category you want to write about.
    2.Press 'Filter the Experts' button.
    3.Select a storyguide to help you with your story, and hey presto !!

    When your story is complete you can save your story as a PDF and share it with your teachers, friends and family by printing out a hard copy or sharing your story by email, or maybe even blog it on BCUK...

  • HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME...

    flowers

    Thank you all for your many facebook birthday wishes.

    I'm having a lovely day in the lovely sunshine and now counting down to this time next week when my son will be home from Ozz for a few weeks. I cannot believe it's twelve months since he was last here. Where does time go ?

    It makes me smile the amount of messages and emails you get from company's that have your details offering you birthday wishes when I've have never even held a conversation with anyone at the company :)

  • THERE'S ALWAYS THAT GUY....

    There's Always that guy

    Couldn't resist this 'Funny' dog picture...

  • A SENIOR MOMENT....

    Smile

    A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old mate:
    'So I hear you're getting married?'
    'Yes'
    'Do I know her?'
    'No'
    'This woman, is she good looking?'
    'Not really.'
    'Is she a good cook?'
    'No, she can't cook too well.'
    'Does she have lots of money?'
    'No! Poor as a church mouse.'
    'Well, then, is she good in bed?'
    'I don't know.'
    'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'
    'Because she can still drive!'

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