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  • A SENIOR MOMENT....

    Smile

    A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old mate:
    'So I hear you're getting married?'
    'Yes'
    'Do I know her?'
    'No'
    'This woman, is she good looking?'
    'Not really.'
    'Is she a good cook?'
    'No, she can't cook too well.'
    'Does she have lots of money?'
    'No! Poor as a church mouse.'
    'Well, then, is she good in bed?'
    'I don't know.'
    'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'
    'Because she can still drive!'

  • SOME WIT AND WISDOM FROM ‘THE WEEK’ MAGAZINE…

    The Week

    Some of my favourite ‘wit and wisdom’ from last week’s ‘The Week’ Magazine

    ‘Charles Moore’ in The Daily Telegraph wrote – ‘The prize for the most depressing phrase in the English language is currently held by the words ‘replacement business’.

    ‘David Walliams’ quoted in last weeks The Mail on Sunday ‘ I said to Simon Cowell, ‘You will love that child more than you love yourself’. He replied’ That’s not possible’.

    Ever week ‘The Week’ Magazine has its take on the Wit and Wisdom’ of the week and they are offering all my readers a free copy of the magazine. If you would like to read one then just click on the link below.

    Claim a free copy of The Week magazine

    The best of the British and international media
    Clear unbiased journalism presenting you with the facts you need
    Intelligent writing delivers you a concise and complete briefing in just one hour of your time
    Keeping on top of the news has never been so easy or enjoyable – in print or through our dynamic digital formats

    Our Review of reviews brings you the most interesting and entertaining insights on the latest books, plays, films, opera and exhibitions
    What are top food critics saying about British restaurants?
    Plus the most bizarre stories from the tabloids, a smattering of gossip and Talking Points

    Follow this link to claim your free copy: http://subscription.theweek.co.uk/landing/bigshot/01/

  • COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY 'FREE' BOOKS...

    Watt Pad

    COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY 'FREE' BOOKS...

    Wattpad is completely free to join and can be used on your Kindle, iPad or Android. The books are completely free and it has a database of 20 million free books and stories. Some are out of copyright but some, like the book above, are new including famouse author Margaret Atwood.

    You can also publish your own stories using the Create function.

    Free Books – 23,469 Classics to go is another free site which can be used on your iPad or on your laptop through Windows. There are more than 20,000 classic titles to download for free.

    Free Books

  • SUPER SCRIMPERS...

    Super Scrimpers

    I just loved this book so I thought I'd share it with you :)

    Book Description -

    "Live life for half the price with a superscrimping bible for fans of primetime Channel 4 series Superscrimpers, the programme that shows you how to save money and live well for less.

    With enough money-saving tips to banish the budgetary blues for good, these collected hints and tips from Channel 4's Supercrimpers show us all how to be more clever with our cash.

    Why waste money when you can have new for nothing? Rediscover the thrill of thrift with our clever tips and ideas to help you have the lifestyle you want without it costing the earth.

    These days it's hip to be thrifty and we've looked to the superscrimping skills of yesteryear to find hints and tips to remind us all of the nation's fine tradition of resourcefulness.

    And you'll find brand new ideas for chic-on-the-cheap fashion, handy homes, beauty, DIY and more that will put some glamour into your life without emptying your pockets.

    Proving frugal can be fun, join our proud penny-pinching revolution and learn how to live well for less! "

    If you don't pick up one tip on how to save some money from this book then I will eat my hat - honest !!!!

  • FREE ESSENTIAL TRAVEL APPS...

    mobile

    We all know that feeling of panic when the petrol gauge starts flashing but your not sure how far away the nearest petrol station is. The free app 'Around Me' pinpoints nearby petrol stations in seconds, giving you telephone numbers, distance and directions. It also locates and maps the nearest banks, post office, restaurants and more.

    Another good one if you need a cab but can't find one is another free app 'CabGrab' which will suggest cab companies near you, anywhere in the UK with the telephone numbers and users ratings.

  • AHH, MONDAY IS OVER...

    Monday

  • THE WRONG TATTOO...

    monkeys

  • THE MOBILE PHONE...

    ipad

    After a tiring day, a commuter settled down in his seat and closed his eyes.

    As the train rolled out of the station, the young woman sitting next to him pulled out her mobile phone and started talking in a loud voice:

    "Hi sweetheart. It's Sue. I'm on the train".

    "Yes, I know it's the six thirty and not the four thirty, but I had a long meeting".

    "No, honey, not with that Kevin from the accounting office. It was with the boss".

    "No sweetheart, you're the only one in my life".

    "Yes, I'm sure, cross my heart!"

    Fifteen minutes later, she was still talking loudly.

    When the man sitting next to her had enough, he leaned over and said into the phone,

    "Sue, hang up the phone and come back to bed."

    Sue doesn't use her mobile phone in public any longer. :):):)

  • EXPRESS YOURSELF THROUGH HANDWRITING ON NATIONAL HANDWRITING DAY...

    quillpaper

    The lost art of handwriting is one of the few ways we can uniquely express ourselves. There’s something poetic about grasping a writing instrument and feeling it hit the paper as your thoughts flow through your fingers and pour into words. So, the Writing Instrument Manufacturers Association (WIMA) suggests you take advantage of National Handwriting Day on January 23 and use a pen or a pencil to rekindle that creative feeling through a handwritten note, poem, letter or journal entry.

    Handwriting allows us to be artists and individuals during a time when we often use computers, faxes and e-mail to communicate. Fonts are the same no matter what computer you use or how you use it. Fonts lack a personal touch. Handwriting can add intimacy to a letter and reveal details about the writer’s personality. Throughout history, handwritten documents have sparked love affairs, started wars, established peace, freed slaves, created movements and declared independence.

    "Though computers and e-mail play an important role in our lives, nothing will ever replace the sincerity and individualism expressed through the handwritten word," said David H. Baker, WIMA's Executive Director.

    The purpose of National Handwriting Day is to alert the public to the importance of handwriting. According to WIMA, National Handwriting Day is a chance for all of us to re-explore the purity and power of handwriting.

    WIMA sponsors National Handwriting Day every January 23 in conjunction with John Hancock’s birthday. Hancock was the first to sign the Declaration of Independence and is famous for his large, bold signature.

    The Writing Instrument Manufacturers Association is a national trade association covering $4.5-billion industry of pen, pencil and marker manufacturers.

  • FORGETTING NAMES HAS GONE ON FOR CENTURIES...

    Question

    Did you know that Sir Thomas Beecham (1879-1961) who was the founder of the London Philharmonic Orchestra, once ran into a distinguished looking woman in the lobby of a hotel.

    He thought he knew her, but could not remember her name but vaguely remembered that she had a brother. So hoping for any clue as to her identity, he asked her how her brother was and whether he was still working at the same job.

    'Oh, he's very well,' said Princess Mary about George V1, 'and still king'. :):)

    I remember seeing someone at a bar that I thought I knew so I went up and said hello. To the amusement of a friend who was standing next to me I was saying hello to a famous newsreader :) He was very kind and said hello back though !!!!!

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